One year ago, I left Texas. When I left there, I left behind good and bad.
I was very very torn about leaving, but you can only take so much and you have to weigh out the pros and cons. It isn't an easy decision that you just make overnight.
I left behind a man who did not know how to treat a woman. At the same time, I left behind three beautiful girls. They were not my children per se, but I loved them and I still do. I miss them. Somehow, I have to stuff my feelings deep down and keep going and I cannot let this devastate me. My wish for them is it they do the same.
We have to keep forging ahead and not look back because if we dwell on the past and allow it to devastate us we will never get anywhere in the future. Living in the past is for the birds. Having said all that, I just want to make it clear that I do have a heart and that my decision was not made hastily.
it is a new day. It is a new year. All we can do is our best to make our life mean something positive.
I've learned from my experience. I will never date again. I do not want a man in my life at all (I don't want a woman in my life either, lol) . All I want is good friends, my family and my dog. Romantic relationships has proven to be not worth the pain.
Everything is motive based and there's no such thing as
true love, unless it's the love of a parent, family, child or a pet.
I left behind a lot when I left but looking back on it all, it was worth leaving the material things just to get free from the misery of being with a man who treated me like dirt.
I still wonder about the girls and I cannot say it was worth leaving them, but I could no longer stay and allow the treatment I was getting.
There was cheating going on. There was lying going on and there was withholding, and gas lighting, and all kinds of emotional/ psychological things that no one understood but myself and my counselor.
I matter more than to be treated like I was being treated. My only hope is that the girls have a good life and are happy. As for their dad, I honestly don't care what happens to him as long as it doesn't affect the girls negatively. They deserve the best.
